Hi taylorswift. I know the chances of you seeing this are really, really slim, but I just wanted to introduce you to my daughter. This is Jenna Nicole. She was stillborn on April 19th, 2009, at 5:45 AM. I was 16 years old. It’s a long story, one I am not entirely proud of, but at the end of the day, Jenna was born completely out of love, and she has been the most perfect human being to touch my life. I am so lucky to be her mom. I am so broken, so fragile, so haunted, so lost, but so blessed.
Taylor, you are my favorite person in the world after Jenna. The year I was pregnant and she was born was the year Fearless came out. So many people pushed me away, doubted me, met me with scorn and ridicule and hatefulness. Change quickly became Jenna’s and my anthem. On the last day, I rocked her and reminded her “these things will change, can you feel it now? The time will come for us to finally win, and we’ll sing Hallelujah.”
Things have changed. I’ve grown up so much, grown through my depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I graduated high school, got one college degree, and I’m going back to finish my other soon. You inspired me, in my most lonely and broken days, to take up writing. I found out that I’m really good at it. So that’s what I plan on doing. I found out what real love is. It’s a boy who doesn’t pressure you to do things you aren’t ready for, but rather dances with you late at night. It’s the friends that hold you close when you’re most destructive and not so pretty. It’s the tiny girl who looks like you and like Heaven, who makes your heart feel like it’s glowing even though it’s broken. It’s the laugh of the tall blonde girl who stood by your side by way of music when no one else did.
So much has happened in my not-quite 22 years, so much tragedy, and so much good. I just wanted to thank you for accompanying all of it, Taylor. I like to think that Jenna would thank you too, because you’ve truly saved her mother’s life. Your words and influence held me up when I wanted to fall apart most. I can’t thank you enough.
You helped things change. And I love you so much. Hope to see you soon.